This week.

I think that this email is going to be kind of boring, sorry. There's not much to report that I can think of...

Let me check in my journal! Which, by the way, I made a goal with my new journal to write A WHOLE PAGE EVERY NIGHT. It's tough, but I've been doing it, and it's the best! It forces me to reflect on my day a lot more and actually share my feelings and progress instead of just giving a laundry list of what we did.

Anyway...

Oh, I restarted the Book of Mormon, this time with a fresh copy. Rather than marking what stands out to me, I'm marking scriptures that coordinate with each of the five missionary lessons. I LOVE IT. It helps me focus my study and I am finding scriptures that I never even knew existed, despite having read them many times. Also, I'm starting to understand why we emphasize so much reading the Book of Mormon from beginning to end, even though some of the most doctrine-dense chapters are further in. Because 1 Nephi teaches the whole Restoration beautifully! And 2 Nephi the Plan of Salvation!

Light bulb lit.

On Thursday we washed our car by hand at a member's house, which was fun. It had been completely covered in bright green pollen, but now it's gray again. Welcome to Virginia, where the pollen falls like rain.

Speaking of rain, though, the summer thunderstorms have started up again. My favorite.

On Friday at district meeting we did an activity where we had to write the seven sentences that we would send to our families if we were about to die and that was all we could say. Mine were:

1. I love you.

2. Jesus Christ is our Savior.

3. The Book of Mormon is true.

4. Only you can choose your destiny.

5. God is in control.

6. Be loyal to the royal within you.

7. See you in Heaven :)

It was cool! Those really are my most cherished beliefs and what I would want my loved ones to hear from me.

Don't worry, though. I'm not dying.

That's about it. Nothing too exciting to report, but it was a good week.

Oh, I got a super cute poster from the youth! Here it is.

Also some bunny ears from my Easter package from Mom/Megan, and have I mentioned that I have a new obsession with nightgowns? I got this one from the thrift store for three dollars and I LOVE IT. Most comfortable thing ever.

Anyway, tell the youth that I adore them and this poster makes me so happy every time I look at it.

I LOVE YOU!!!

Love,

Hermana Bennett

The Lord works in mysterious ways!

An experience from this week:

April 17, 2014

This morning I finished the Book of Mormon again and decided to take Moroni's challenge and pray about it, even though I've done it multiple times before. As I was reading the last few chapters I felt the Spirit strongly and thought, "Wow, if I'm feeling it now it's going to be so strong when I actually pray!"

I finished reading and then went into the bathroom to pray because that was the only place I could think to go to be alone. I knelt down and prayed, asking Heavenly Father to help me feel the confirmation once again so that I could testify with power that it is true. Expecting a powerful feeling, I waited. Nothing. Hmm.

I prayed again: "Heavenly Father, I know that the Book of Mormon is true, but please help me to feel it right now." Waited. Nothing.

Weird.

I felt good, but no big chills or warmth or pounding heart or anything.

I went back into our study room, sat down, and prayed once more: "Heavenly Father, I don't understand. I'm doing this for my investigators. Why am I not getting an answer?" Into my mind came Doctrine and Covenants 6:22-23: "Verily, verily I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What great witness can you have from God?" I realized that, like Oliver Cowdery, I was looking for an answer that I had already received. He had given it to me before I even prayed - the strong Spirit that I had felt while I was reading.

So that was cool, but it gets even better.

A less active couple that the sisters are working with fed us all brunch today, and after eating we taught them the restoration. The sister expressed the concern that she has prayed about the Book of Mormon but hasn't felt like she has gotten an answer.

Right there I was able to share with her that the same thing had happened to me that very morning, and that maybe she was already getting an answer - it just wasn't in the way she expected.

Coincidence?

I think not.

Straight talk.

I don't have much to share this week, so I want to direct my comments to all those who are considering going on a mission or wonder what it's really like.

I was raised in the Church, and my whole life heard returned missionaries say, "It was the best of times and it was the worst of times." "It was the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done." I would hear this and think, "I'm sure it was hard and I'm sure it was wonderful, but let's not be so dramatic and cliche. It could not have been that bad or that good."

Well, it is. It is that bad and it is that good.

First, let's start with the "worst of times" part.

The mission will humble you. It will take a big giant magnifying glass and place it right over your weaknesses, not only for you to see, but also for your new 24/7 companion to see. It will make you acutely aware of every character defect you have, and it will hurt.

For example, before my misison I thought that I was a nice person. I smiled at people on campus as I walked by, I was patient with the new cashier in the grocery store, and people generally knew me as nice.

Insert 24/7 companion.

Patience, kindness, and empathy out the window. After a few days with a person, I start to notice THEIR character flaws, and they annoy me. I'm never outright mean, but I get grumpy and sarcastic. And worst of all, I go silent.

Oh, that's another thing I'm bad at: communication. Other struggles: self negativity, motivation, following the Spirit, street contacting, and, oh yeah, fitting into my clothes.

I'm flawed, oh so flawed.

So that's the first thing the mission throws at you. You're somewhere between 18 and 25, you think you have yourself figured out and you're pretty great, and suddenly you realize that you're scum. Worse than scum. The scum between scum's toes. Like Moses, you say to yourself, "Now, for this cause I know that [I] am nothing, which thing I never had supposed." (Moses 1:10)

Then you throw companion relationships into the mix, which I don't even want to go into. Two imperfect people working together imperfectly in an imperfect world. Just remember: "It's not always rainbows and butterflies; it's compromise that moves us along." Your companion will drive you nuts. They will snore, loudly. They will lack motivation. They will get grumpy. They will check out in the middle of lessons. And guess what? You will, too, and they will be just as annoyed with you as you are with them.

So you're dealing with yourself and with your companion.

NOW throw in the actual missionary work itself. The days are long and exhausting. You have to step outside of your comfort zone to talk to people on the street about Jesus, of all things. You become too emotionally invested in other people's spiritual welfare, only to seem them give up and fail. You struggle with the language. You go weeks and weeks without teaching a single lesson and all of a sudden that faith you thought you had is by the wayside, withering among the stony places (Matthew 13).

Am I being clear enough? Missionary work is HARD. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. If you're considering a mission, do not go into it thinking that it will be an eighteen month to two year vacation away from real life. It is not. If you only want to get away or you feel obligated to do it, don't go. You will hate it and your companion will hate you.

But don't let me scare you TOO much. If you have a testimony, if you love the Lord, if you want to help other people improve their lives, if you want to be a better person, friend, sister, mother, father, or member of the Church, GO ON A MISSION.

Why?

Because it's worth it.

It is oh, so worth it.

Being a part of another person's conversion is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. As you teach people about their Heavenly Father, who loves them and wants them to be happy, you will see the light of Christ increase in their eyes. You will grow to love them more than you thought you could ever love a complete stranger.

Every time you are transferred to a new area, you will meet people that you can't imagine living without. They become part of you and you will never, ever forget them.

More than the effect that you have on other people, though, is who YOU will become.

I don't even know who I was before the mission. What was important to me? What did I believe in? What did I think about? Did I even have a testimony? I know that I did because I had the faith to leave everything I knew behind and dedicate my life to the Lord for a year and a half, but I feel as if I didn't even exist before I got here.

If you allow it to, the mission will change you. With each of those newly noticed flaws, you will be given the opportunity to turn to God and let Him help you change it. And He will. It's just like how it says in Ether 12:27:

"...if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficent for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

Because you are alone and entirely dependent on Him for support, the Lord becomes your best friend. It's not that He loves you any more than He did before your mission; it's just that you are suddenly much more aware of and dependent on Him. With your invitation, He makes you who you could never be on your own.

You are still very flawed, and with each day you become more aware of your flaws, but you change and progress. You become converted. Converted and changed from a natural man or woman, a lump of raw materials, to a spiritual being, a piece of art.

That's the power of the Gospel.

"O, that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people! Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth." (Alma 29:1-2)

I truly feel this way. I wish that I could fly above the trees and speak to all the nations about the wonderful restored Gospel of Jesus Christ!

Come unto Christ
Come unto Him
And by His grace be made holy again.
He's calling YOUR name.

He's waitng for YOU

With arms open wide.

Come unto Christ.

(2014 Mutual Theme)

I could go on and on and on.

If you have any sincere desire to go on a mission, seek the Lord's approval, and then GO. It's not for everybody. Some have other callings. But if it's right for you and you have the opportunity, you will never regret it. Will your whole mission be fun and easy and full of baptisms? Probably not. Most of the time you will just get through every day and sometimes you will want to go home. But each one of those days will add up and soon enough you will have created THE BEST TWO YEARS (or 18 months) OF YOUR LIFE.

Just do it. Take the leap. Be not afraid. Trust in the Lord.

Love,

Hermana Bennett

A great week!

We had a great week around here. Here's one highlight:

More puzzles!

This is Sister Burr, one of the sisters that we live with. She and I share a puzzle addiction. Between Monday and Sunday we solved these three and two and a half others, all within our time before studies, during lunch, and after planning at night. So fun. It's nice to have something to do at home that helps me relax and get my mind off the work for a few minutes.

Another great one was interviews with President Baker. I think I've mentioned this before, but we have personal interviews with him every three months, and at the beginning he always says a prayer for you. Just hearing him pray is one of the most faith-building experiences I've ever had. It is so powerful. After that we get about ten minutes to talk. It's short, but somehow within those ten minutes he always manages to answer my questions, help me receive revelation, and make me feel sustained, appreciated, and supported. He is the BEST.

We also saw a small miracle in West Point. We don't have any investigators (like, ZERO), so we have been spending almost all of our time finding. On Friday we drove to West Point to do some finding. We prayed to be led to those that were ready to listen, and then got out of the car and started walking around. About fifteen minutes later we passed ago that looked completely American, so I asked him, "Do you know if anybody that speaks Spanish lives around here?" He said, "I do." Woah! Ok! Turns out he was Puerto Rican. We had a great discussion with him about the Book of Mormon and he is open to us coming by again this week. What an answer to prayer. Heavenly Father directed us to him and him to us and we found each other!

Here's a picture that we took in just after that experience. So happy.

And finally, General Conference! Was it not AMAZING. I got so many answers to questions and the Spirit was strong. I can't remember who said it right now, but one of the apostles talked about charity and how by loving other people we can help them to develop faith and confidence in Heavenly Father's love. This is something that I believe really strongly, so I obviously loved it. Also Elder Holland's talk when he bore testimony. He is so bold. I want to be like that someday. And Elder Uchtdorf! Ugh. It was all just so good. Is it really over already?

We watched the last session in a member's home, the Taylors, and guess where they are from? Emmett! And BSU fans. For obvious reasons, they are my favorite family in the branch...

:)

Go Broncos!

Despite not seeing many visual results, it was a wonderful week and full of miracles. Heavenly Father is so very kind.

I LOVE YOU!!!

Love,

Hermana Bennett